Speeds of Means of Contact

If you have something URGENT to tell me, the best you can do is to attempt 3 things, in this order: (1) message me on one of Telegram and Signal, (2) DM me on Discord, and (3) call me. This is at least as good as anything else in nearly all situations if you’re not physically next to me, and anything else (e-mailing me, sending me a personal on zephyr) will NOT get your message to me faster.

Here’s various means of contact ordered by expectation of how quickly I’ll get back to you.

1. Telegram (the app, not a literal telegram) (best average-case response time)
2. Signal
3. Discord (best worst-case response time)

If you have something you really want to tell me now, I recommend you choose a means of contact above this line.

4. Phone Call (Why would this be slower? Because I may be somewhere I don’t want to take a phone call. Also, there’s a high likelihood I plain ignore you if your number is unfamiliar.)
5. Zephyr

If you want to be very sure I end up reading what you’re telling me, I recommend you choose a means of contact above this line.

6. GChat
7. E-mail
8. Walking to the standard places I am in real life, and physically engaging in conversation, if you live in Cambridge
9. Making field art in Ingress that writes out the message you want to tell me
10. Snail mail
11. Slack

What about iMessage? I’m convinced more than half of those don’t successfully arrive or depart, so I don’t recommend it as a reliable means of getting to me.