Ow, Bone Pain

(Context: K. Li was considering documenting instances in songs of the lyric format “from ______ to ______” (for instance, “from Bangkok to Calgary”) to indicate willingness to travel far. I mentioned a potential notable pair of locations to use, and he dared me to write a song using it. Here it is.)

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And memories to wane?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
‘Till they scream “Ow, bone pain!”?

Ow, ow, bone pain, ow, ow bone pain
Ow, owie, ow, bone pain!
Ow, owie, ouch, ow, owie, ow,
Ow, owie, ow, bone pain!

We two have paddled in the brook
Whether in sun or rain
But paddling now is very ouch
Because of the bone pain!

Yet pain of bone can’t take one down
Or quench the friendship flame
I’d paddle ‘cross an ocean large
To see you. Ow, bone pain!

From Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­goge-
ry­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­ty-
silio­gogo­goch to Tau-
matawhakatangi-

hangakoauauotama-
tea­turipuka-
kapikimaunga­horonu-
kupokaiwhen­ua-

kitanatahu I would sail
So we’d unite again
And think of all the good ol’ days
When seeking the good pain

So here extends a hand of mine
And there a hand of thain
Extending ‘cross an ocean far
And causing more bone pain.

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American Presidential Primaries: Campaigns

The following is a juxtaposition of the current and the previous three US presidential primary seasons for the Democratic and Republican parties, in days relative to the Iowa caucus. Each + indicates a campaign’s announcement and each – indicates a campaign’s withdrawal.

Day Obama/McCain election Obama/Romney election Trump/Clinton election This election
Iowa-1100
Iowa-1090
Iowa-1081 +Donald Trump
Iowa-1070
Iowa-1060
Iowa-1050
Iowa-1040
Iowa-1030
Iowa-1020
Iowa-1010
Iowa-1000
Iowa-990
Iowa-980
Iowa-970
Iowa-960
Iowa-950
Iowa-940
Iowa-930
Iowa-920 +John Delaney
Iowa-910
Iowa-900
Iowa-890
Iowa-880
Iowa-870
Iowa-860
Iowa-850
Iowa-840
Iowa-830
Iowa-819 +Andrew Yang
Iowa-810
Iowa-800
Iowa-790
Iowa-780
Iowa-790
Iowa-760
Iowa-750
Iowa-740
Iowa-730
Iowa-720
Iowa-710
Iowa-700
Iowa-690
Iowa-680
Iowa-670
Iowa-660
Iowa-650
Iowa-640
Iowa-626 +Mike Gravel
Iowa-620
Iowa-610
Iowa-600
Iowa-590
Iowa-580
Iowa-570
Iowa-560
Iowa-550
Iowa-540
Iowa-530
Iowa-520
Iowa-510
Iowa-500
Iowa-490
Iowa-480
Iowa-470
Iowa-460
Iowa-449 +Richard Ojeda
Iowa-440
Iowa-430
Iowa-420
Iowa-410
Iowa-400
Iowa-388 +Tulsi Gabbard
Iowa-387 +Dennis Kucinich +Julian Castro
Iowa-378 +Kamala Harris
Iowa-374 -Richard Ojeda
Iowa-373 +John Edwards
Iowa-371 +Marianne Williamson
Iowa-367 +Cory Booker
Iowa-359 +Elizabeth Warren
Iowa-358 +Amy Klobuchar
Iowa-357 +Chris Dodd
Iowa-353 +Bill Weld
Iowa-349 +Bernie Sanders
Iowa-348 +Sam Brownback
Iowa-343 +Hillary Clinton
+Duncan Hunter
Iowa-340 +Mike Huckabee
Iowa-339 +Jay Inslee
Iowa-337 +Joe Biden
Iowa-336 +John Hickenlooper
Iowa-327 +Barack Obama
Iowa-326 +Beto O’Rourke
Iowa-324 +Mitt Romney
Iowa-323 +Kirsten Gillibrand
Iowa-322 +Rudy Giuliani
Iowa-315 +Ted Cruz
Iowa-312 +Wayne Messam
Iowa-305 +Tim Ryan
Iowa-301 +Mike Gravel
+Eric Swalwell
Iowa-300 +Rand Paul
Iowa-298 TODAY
Iowa-297 +Ron Paul
Iowa-295 +Hillary Clinton
Iowa-294 +Marco Rubio
Iowa-277 +Tommy Thompson +Bernie Sanders
Iowa-276 +Tom Tancredo
Iowa-274 +Barack Obama +Ben Carson
Iowa-273 +Carly Fiorina
Iowa-272 +Mike Huckabee
Iowa-257 +Gary Johnson
Iowa-253 +John McCain
Iowa-252 +Jim Gilmore
Iowa-250 +Rick Santorum
Iowa-249 +George Pataki
Iowa-247 +Martin O’Malley
Iowa-245 +Lindsey Graham
Iowa-243 +Lincoln Chafee
Iowa-242 +Rick Perry
Iowa-239 +Newt Gingrich
Iowa-237 +Ron Paul
Iowa-235 +Tim Pawlenty
Iowa-231 +Jeb Bush
Iowa-230 +Donald Trump
Iowa-227 +Bill Richardson +Herman Cain
Iowa-222 +Bobby Jindal
Iowa-216 +Chris Christie
Iowa-215 +Mitt Romney
Iowa-214 +Jim Webb
Iowa-211 +Rick Santorum
Iowa-204 +Michele Bachmann
Iowa-203 +Scott Walker
Iowa-196 +Jon Huntsman
Iowa-195 +John Kasich
Iowa-186 +Thaddeus McCotter +Jim Gilmore
Iowa-180
Iowa-173 -Jim Gilmore
Iowa-160
Iowa-148 +Lawrence Lessig
Iowa-145 -Tommy Thompson
Iowa-143 +Rick Perry -Rick Perry
Iowa-142 -Tim Pawlenty
Iowa-133 -Scott Walker
Iowa-120 +Fred Thompson
Iowa-111 +Alan Keyes
Iowa-104 -Jim Webb
Iowa-103 -Thaddeus McCotter
Iowa-101 -Lincoln Chafee
Iowa-91 -Lawrence Lessig
Iowa-76 -Sam Brownback -Bobby Jindal
Iowa-70
Iowa-60
Iowa-50
Iowa-42 -Lindsey Graham
Iowa-34 -George Pataki
Iowa-31 -Herman Cain
Iowa-20
Iowa-14 -Tom Tancredo
Iowa-6 -Gary Johnson
Iowa Caucus -Chris Dodd
-Joe Biden
-Mike Huckabee
-Martin O’Malley
Iowa+1 -Michele Bachmann
Iowa+2 -Rand Paul
-Rick Santorum
Iowa+7 -Bill Richardson
Iowa+9 -Carly Fiorina
-Chris Christie
Iowa+11 -Jim Gilmore
Iowa+13 -Jon Huntsman
Iowa+13 -Rick Perry
Iowa+16 -Duncan Hunter
Iowa+19 -Fred Thompson -Jeb Bush
Iowa+21 -Dennis Kucinich
Iowa+27 -John Edwards
-Rudy Giuliani
Iowa+32 -Ben Carson
Iowa+35 -Mitt Romney
Iowa+43 -Marco Rubio
Iowa+50
Iowa+61 -Mike Huckabee
Iowa+70
Iowa+83 -Mike Gravel
Iowa+92 -Ted Cruz
Iowa+93 -John Kasich
Iowa+98 -Rick Santorum
Iowa+103 -Alan Keyes
Iowa+110
Iowa+120 -Newt Gingrich
Iowa+130
Iowa+140
Iowa+150
Iowa+156 -Hillary Clinton
Iowa+161 -Ron Paul
Iowa+170
Iowa+180