50 States: Descriptions, for Another Demographic

I’ve introduced America’s 50 States previously. Here, I’ll introduce them more concisely for another demographic.

Delaware: Finally, a state.
Pennsylvania: Finally, a state people know for something other than being FIRST.
New Jersey: Like Jersey, but for the new world.
Georgia: Finally, a state with slaves. (Well, not anymore. (We’re pretty sure.))
Connecticut: Disrupt connecting with doing the exact opposite.
Massachusetts: Disrupt sunny day with sudden thunderstorm. And sudden drivers.
Maryland: Like Snake, but for Congressional Districts.
South Carolina: Disrupt America with secession.
New Hampshire: Disrupt life with freedom xor dying.
Virginia: Disrupt president with next president.
New York: Building a city that matters. (The other ones don’t, right?)
North Carolina: Like Maryland, but with occasional sane districts.
Rhode Island: Disrupt being an island with not being an island plantations.
Vermont: Like nature. (Or at least, I hope you like nature.)
Kentucky: Disrupt smoking with…nah, just keep smoking.
Tennessee: Disrupt evolution with lynchings.
Ohio: Disrupt having four letters with having three syllables.
Louisiana: Disrupt counties with parishes.
Indiana: Like India, but for Batman.
Mississippi: Like a third world country, but for America.
Illinois: Like New York, but for the Midwest.
Alabama: Disrupt screaming with consonants.
Maine: Disrupt delicate senate balance with existing.
Missouri: Disrupt existing with delicate senate balance.
Arkansas: Like Kansas, but for pirates.
Michigan: Disrupt industry with bankruptcy.
Florida: Like Australia, but for America.
Texas: Building Bible thumpers that matter.
Iowa: Like Ohio, but for corn.
Wisconsin: Like Illinois, but colder.
California: Disrupt disruption with disrupting.
Minnesota: Like Wisconsin, but even colder.
Oregon: Disrupt lush forest with hipsters.
Kansas: Like a pancake, but flatter.
West Virginia: Disrupt secession with secession.
Nevada: Disrupt unending desert with radioactive waste.
Nebraska: Like Kansas, but more boring.
Colorado: Like Tibet, but for America.
North Dakota: Like South Dakota, but North.
South Dakota: Like North Dakota, but South.
Montana: Building sky that matters.
Washington: Finally, a president.
Idaho: Like Iowa, but for potatoes.
Wyoming: Like Montana, but with less people.
Utah: Like Jesus, but with latter-day saints, whatever that means.
Oklahoma: Like a river delta, but for the Trail of Tears.
New Mexico: Disrupt ugly flag designs with aesthetic taste.
Arizona: Like your oven, but for real life.
Alaska: Like your freezer, but for real life.
Hawaii: Like Florida, but many years later.


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