Want You Hosed

Looking through my old notes, I found these lyrics that I wrote for 5.12.

5.12 had a tradition of having a poem- or songlyric-writing contest at the end. Unfortunately, I was too hosed to write this before the contest deadline, but I did complete it after the class ended, nearly four years ago.

These lyrics are, of course, sung to this.

One more semester went
5.12, aren’t I a pleasure
Remember when you tried to pass me twice?
Oh how we punt and tooled
But you did all the tooling
I just sat there and learned to be
A slight bit less nice.

You want your free time? Have it.
Your scores will really show.
I used to want you failed but
Now I only want you hosed.

A lot of kids like you
(Maybe not quite as dense)
Have tried to play the hosing game here too
One day one of them woke
Just kidding; actually died
Like a t-butyl group
I blew his skull up too wide.

Go drink some LiAlH4
While I fail more bozos.
I used to want you failed but
Now I only want you hosed.

Goodbye my favorite derp
(What? No, of course I meant you.)
It would have been a joke if it weren’t so true
Too bad you’ll be replaced
With more dim-witted students
Their ways to fail the Wittig
Will resonate of you

Go live your short hosed life left
Time here; it quickly goes
Soon you’re 5.13’s problem
Now I only want you hosed
Now I only want you hosed
Now I only want you hosed

(Just to confirm: I never went ahead and took 5.13, but time here, it indeed quickly went.)

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