In Which I Inadvertently Advertise Arnold Palmer Zero Calorie Iced Tea

*I enter W20 elevator with two women.*

Woman 1: *sees me opening my can of Arnold Palmer* I love those; those are the best.
Me: They really are.
Woman 2: *sees label* Whoa, and they’re zero-calorie?
[they discuss this]
Me: Yes.
Woman 2: Wow, should we just go and get some right now?
Me: This feels like an advertisement.
Woman 2: Well, I’m sold.
[I look at the Nutrition Facts and Ingredients.]
Me: Well, it rounds to zero.
Woman 1: Still.
Woman 2: We should just go down right now.

I’m a really big fan of Arnold Palmer Iced Tea, but I definitely didn’t expect that just by opening a can in the elevator I’d instantly spread the joy of it to two other people.

(Actually, re-looking at this bottle, it says ‘Zero’, followed by ‘No Calories’. If I recall FDA rules correctly, ‘Zero’ means it’s allowed to not be zero as long as it rounds to zero, but ‘No’ means it must be absolutely zero. This drink has a tiny amount of sugar, so it definitely has a small amount of calories. Is this drink mislabelled? *gasp*)

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