Near the start of one’s time here at the Institvte, a student is provided a list of 101 things to do before they graduate. I say screw that. Eat ice cream? I’m not going to tempt my food allergies to fulfill the 101 things. And La Verde’s? Are you fucking kidding me?
Fortunately, I have done more than 101 things since I’ve come to MIT. Here are 101 of them.
Disclaimer 1: This list is retroactively chosen. I definitely did not plan these specific 101 things to do when I was a freshman.
Disclaimer 2: These acts are not necessarily good feats to strive for, and I definitely in no way endorse trying to make some of these happen.
I have lived
1) I have lived on the nth floor, for four different integer powers of 2 values of n.
2) I have, over the course of my undergraduacy, lived in 9 different dorm rooms, not a single one of which is on a floor serviced by an elevator.
3) I have done something while living in one of these rooms that left the entire hall the room was in in horror the upcoming semester.
4) I have been the northernmost dorm resident at MIT. I actually moved my bed to a location where I definitely was.
5) Two of the rooms I have lived in have room numbers that are anagrams of each other.
6) Two of the other rooms I have lived in have room numbers that are anagrams of each other except for one letter.
7) I have lived in a dorm room where water leaked from its ceiling.
8) I have lived in a dorm room where water leaked from its ceiling, and through the floor leaking through the ceiling of the room below.
9) I have lived in a dorm room adjacent to that of someone who shares my birthday.
10) I have visited 14 dorms.
11) I have slept in five different public areas in one of the dorms I’ve lived in.
12) I have eaten at each of the five current dining halls.
13) I have boycotted La Verde’s for three years.
14) I have lived in Hell and loved it. Hated it, yes, but also loved it.
I have met
15) I have met a person in each numbered major.
16) I have met a person who changed their major four times.
17) I have met a person who scored 42 on the IMO.
18) I have gotten the autograph of a Nobel Laureate.
19) I have met a person allergic to milk, wheat, and soy.
20) I have met a person with more than one Kerberos username.
21) I have met a person whose Kerberos username has changed.
22) I have met an MIT alum that has a Wikipedia page.
23) I have met an MIT alum in Course 19, from back when Course 19 was Meteorology.
24) I have acquired an autographed sketch of capuchin monkey electroejaculation drawn by Zach Weiner.
25) I have met a person who I got to know in real life and by real name, then by their Kerberos username later, and only weeks after that realized that they were the same person.
26) I have met a person who knew me in real life, knew me by real name, and knew me by Kerberos username, and only later reconciled that all three were the same person.
I have been
27) I have been elected to an office in a student organization jointly with an inanimate object.
28) I have been elected to an office in a student organization in two nonconsecutive terms such that someone else has held that office in two nonconsecutive terms both later than my first term and earlier than my second term.
29) I have held a position whose title contains the word ‘poking’.
30) I have been told by a class website that my name was invalid.
31) I got added to a mailing list with someone dead on it.
32) I have been on the roof of the Green Building.
33) I have been the Green Building for Halloween.
34) I have been vegan for a month. (I stopped when I realized how hard it is to avoid accidentally eating something not vegan.)
35) I have been Tim the Beaver.
36) I have received a cease and desist e-mail from MIT IS&T.
37) I have received more than one cease and desist e-mail from MIT IS&T.
38) I have been to New Hampshire.
39) I have been asked where the nearest fire extinguisher is.
40) I have taken an exam in which I misread a negation in a problem that comprised 40% of the points in the exam, solved the whole problem perfectly correctly in the case that the negation applied otherwise, and thus lost the entire 40%.
41) I have taken two exams on the same day for which the difference between my scores on the two exams was 52%.
42) I have taken two exams on the same day for which the difference between my scores on the two exams was 0%.
43) I have taken a class taught by an instructor that received an overall rating of 2.9 in the course evaluations.
44) I have learned that a professor will become the housemaster of a dorm before that dorm’s school-year residents learned about it.
45) I have taken two classes taught by that housemaster.
46) I have been a member of a student organization Kofi Annan was in.
47) I have accidentally gotten locked in a room with a few friends from which it took about an hour to find a way out.
48) One of those friends was in the last few months of their life.
49) I have witnessed my laptop return to functionality after a few days of it being dead after smoke starting coming out of it. (The friend above was not this laptop.)
50) I have witnessed a firetruck using the opposite side of the road to pass a tow truck towing a T bus on Massachusetts Avenue.
51) I have witnessed a person jaywalk in front of an ambulance with its sirens on.
52) I witnessed srz asking The Question to slz.
53) I have remained on the staff list for The Tech for an entire year after I stopped writing for The Tech.
54) There’s a picture on this blog that I took while in an MIT building that now no longer exists.
55) I learned about the band Nightwish, which has since become my favorite band.
I have done
56) A team I was on won the Mystery Hunt.
57) I have acquired a 2003 HMMT shirt.
58) I have gotten over 40 free t-shirts, not including those gotten at career fair.
59) I have played on over a dozen pianos on campus.
60) I have played Liszt’s Chasse-Neige while a snowstorm was happening outside.
61) I started insisting that people get my first name right.
62) I got credited for something done for Fairbanks, AK that I actually did for Baltimore, MD.
63) I have given someone who I thought deserved to have been admitted to MIT an @mit.edu e-mail address.
64) I have taken a class whose class number has changed since I took it.
65) I have taken a class whose class number has acquired a ten-thousandths digit since I took it.
66) I have completed an assignment over 80 days late.
67) I have given a presentation on minesweeper strategy for an MIT class.
68) I have sustained on free food for 20 days consecutively.
69) I have massaged someone’s nipples in such a way as to cause them to consider moral dilemmas in a hypothetical history where Adolf Hitler might have solved P versus NP.
70) I invented a keyboard layout.
71) I invented more than one keyboard layout.
72) I quit Facebook.
73) I have created a GitHub account.
74) I have created a Bitbucket account.
75) I have created a Dreamwidth account.
76) I have created a Twitch account.
77) I started streaming on Twitch.
78) I have created an Ello account.
79) I have created a Twitter account.
80) I have been banned from Twitter.
81) I have become a member of the SIPB.
82) I have mapped the MIT underground tunnels, then searched the internet for maps to compare with, then found that there were no maps on the internet that have mapped the MIT underground tunnels to the extent that I have.
83) I have grown my hair so long I didn’t recognize myself in a yearbook photo, even after I remembered the shirt I wore.
84) I have written a text adventure in Moira.
85) I have participated in a parody protest.
86) I wrote a poem dedicated to a staircase in the MIT campus.
87) I have been to 102 different buildings on MIT’s campus.
88) I have taught classes for ESP in 21 different buildings.
89) I have taught a Splash class in a room that no longer exists.
90) I have signed up to teach for every hour of a Splash.
91) I fulfilled my commitment to teach for every hour of that Splash, excepting one class session to which no students showed up.
92) I pulled an all-nighter the night between the two days of that Splash.
93) Thirty-eight distinct prime factors are represented in the class numbers of classes I’ve taught for ESP.
94) I broke a habit that I tried to do for a year in the seventh month to do something for a friend.
95) I regret that decision.
96) I have eaten Skittles for science.
97) Someone else has bet on my performance in a competition.
98) I have taken classes in 13 courses, and have done all the work for a class in a 14th course that I never bothered to register for.
99) I have thought that I didn’t belong here.
100) I have told a person that I really wish I were as cool as they were, only to find out they thought the same about me.
101) I have truly found paradise, even if I hate this fucking place.