Laws of MIT

Zeroth Law of MIT (Third Floor Theorem*)
Buildings connect on the third floor. Even when the buildings are W45 and NW20. If they don’t connect on the third floor, they probably connect on the zeroth.

First Law of MIT (Odd Courses Law)
If a course wants to get big, it needs to make sure its course number isn’t odd.

Second Law of MIT (Dorm Halves Law)
If a dorm consists of two clear halves, the nth floor on one half will have a culture noticeably different from that of the nth floor of the other half, and the difference becomes more drastic as n increases.

Third Law of MIT (Opposite Reaction Law)
To get students to ask for permission before taking an action, post a sign explicitly granting them permission to take that action.

Fourth Law of MIT (Fvck You Law)
Crackdowns on student freedoms are announced during hell weeks, so that students do not have the energy to protest.

Fifth Law of MIT (Five and Thirteen Law)
An abnormally difficult class is indicated by “005” or “13” after the decimal point.

Sixth Law of MIT (Law of Sixes)
Buildings with units digit six line up.

Seventh Law of MIT (77 Law)
There is no bound to the ridiculousness of things protested for outside 77 Mass. Ave.

Eighth Law of MIT (Building 18 Law)
Even though MIT students refer to most buildings by their numbers, many will be utterly clueless as to which one Building 18 is, despite its central location.

Ninth Law of MIT (Sub-Nine Law)
The closer one gets to the Hacking Ethics mural, the more examples of unethical hacking one can witness.

W20 Law
Food service in W20 will be inferior to equivalents of the food service outside W20.

First Law of Tourists at MIT
There is no limit to what a tourist at MIT decides to take a picture of.

Second Law of Tourists at MIT
There is no limit to spatial and temporal complications a tourist at MIT can create.

Third Law of Tourists at MIT
Tourists can be safely expected to not discover floors other than the first floor in most MIT buildings.

Law of MIT Building Naming Creativity
The amount of creativity involved in naming an MIT building is a downward-opening parabola in the distance of the building from the center of MIT.

Law of Atomicity
If you create an organization within MIT, the media and general public will not understand that your organization is not equal to MIT.

Law of Hall Animals
MIT enforces its fish-and-sometimes-cats-only rule for pets on a plausible deniability basis. One should not show the cockroaches and mice on hall.

Law of MIT Stereotypes
Nearly all stereotypes of MIT are false to amusing degrees.

*This is, in a sense, “proven” in a weak form by the fact that it is justified: it allows enough height for nearly all vehicles to move under the connection between two buildings without forcing people who wish to walk inside to change floors too much.

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Categories MIT

Two Fires

There was a fire
That brightly blazed
A path across the land
And the people watched in horror
As the fire majestically marched
To put an end to this daring fire
Nearly all agreed
And together they fought the fire until
It flew its fiery flares no more

But underground
A second fire
By nearly every way more massive
Was everywhere ignored
For until this fire breaks the ground
Not many will really care
Even if when it enters sight
It would then be too late
For this fire is much the more savage
And will burn not a path but a world

What is there to say
When one looks at the scars of a burnt wall
But can only think of another fire?
Is this strange? Is this inconsiderate?

Oh, to think of how
So much is because fires are remembered
Not for how fiercely they burned
But for how brightly they flamed

Statements

In this post, I’d ask you as the reader to compare the various statements or phrases in each chunk of text and consider what you feel about each statement or phrase, and if you feel differently about different statements in each chunk, consider what makes you feel differently about them. (In case anyone is wondering about intentions, I’m aiming to evoke finding for oneself what the fundamental ideas by which one judges the world are, and the fundamental principles by which one decides what is okay and what is not okay. There are definitely statements here I don’t even have a personal opinion about, but for which others might, as well as ones I’d imagine most people do not have an opinion about but for which I do.)

“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of Africa.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of African Americans.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of Native Americans.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of women.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of men.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of Whites.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the advancement of White males.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Korean culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Russian culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Armenian culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Italian culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Nigerian culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Arab culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of European culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Asian culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Latin American culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of American culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of White culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of White male culture.”
“This student organization is dedicated to the celebration of Martian culture.”

“We are this campus’s male a capella group.”
“We are this campus’s White a capella group.”
“We are this campus’s Christian a capella group.”

“This is a female-only dorm.”
“This is a Whites-only dorm.”
“This is a vegetarians-only dorm.”
“This is a cat-free dorm.”
“This is an Amish-only dorm.”
“This is a Scientologist-only dorm.”

“Campus Crusade for Christ”
“Campus Crusade for Whites”
“Campus Crusade for Obama”

“Washington Redskins”
“Washington Chinks”
“Washington Niggers”
“Washington Twinks”

“Driver in Accident”
“White Driver in Accident”
“Asian Driver in Accident”
“Male Driver in Accident”
“Female Driver in Accident”
“Female Asian Driver in Accident”

“Today is a great day to hunt deer.”
“Today is a great day to hunt cats.”

“We are a group dedicated to aiding minorities.”
“We are a group dedicated to aiding people who are not White.”

“This is the Association of Biology Majors.”
“This is the Association of Non-Biology Majors.”
“This is the Association of Biology Majors, but non-biology majors are welcome.”
“This is the Association of Non-Biology Majors, but biology majors are welcome.”

“Come join us to watch videos of cats doing silly things.”
“Come join us to watch videos of Black people doing silly things.”

“You are the best.”
“Everyone else is worse than you.”