On “White and Nerdy”: Personal “Comparison”

Okay, so as evidenced by the number of fingers that got pointed at me in AP Physics C today, Weird Al Yankovic’s “White and Nerdy” apparently refers much to me. Of course, I haven’t heard that song before today, and the song goes too fast for me to figure out what it means, so I had to listen to it quite a few times to get it. Now that I have, I am completely confused by why people find me similar to the person described in the song…I’m pretty sure I even have to put quotation marks around “comparison,” as I have done in the title.

Okay, so comparison through all the items:

1) White—nope.

2) Nerdy—definitely.

3) First in my class here at MIT—not possible. Not even top 5% at Mission.

4) Champion at D&D—I didn’t even know what D&D stood for, although I got it on my first guess. Jo’s disappointed frown was spectacular.

5) MC Escher favorite MC—what does MC stand for? E/c? MATHCOUNTS? Because I’m pretty sure most people know only one Maurits Cornelius (I have a feeling I even spelled that incorrectly—yup, it’s actually Cornelis).

6) Earl Grey tea—what’s that?

7) “My rims never spin; to the contrary,// You’ll find that they’re quite stationary”—I have no idea what this means.

8) All action figures being cherry—true, but only because the set of my action figures is the empty set. I have no idea what this “cherry” is.

9) Stephen Hawking’s in my library—yes. A Brief History of Time.

10) Pimped out MySpace page—What does “pimped out” mean? In any case, I don’t have a MySpace.

11) π to a thousand places—only know 61. Not only that, I fail to see how knowing π to a thousand places is nerdy.

12) Still wear braces—no. And while I had braces, I absolutely hated it. Hated the pain, hated the inconvenience, hated the symbolism. In fact, I am vehemently against the usage of braces and actually destroyed my retainer by throwing it across the room after my mom got ridiculously annoying about it when I had worn it for five months.

13) Sandwiches with mayonnaise—barely ever. I much prefer (honey) mustard. And how is this a sign of nerdiness?

14) Minesweeper wiz—okay, okay. But the most I’ve played in a row is only about two and a half hours. There’s a point after which the hand starts to really hurt.

15) Ran all killer apps—what does this mean?

16) Number one at Pascal—the programming language? I know no (legitimate) programming language.

17) Vector calculus just for fun—I much prefer Combinatorics, Number Theory, and Abstract Algebra.

18) No gat—*looks up “gat”*…true.

19) Got a soldering gun—nope.

20) “Happy Days” is my favorite theme song—I don’t even know what that is. 

21) Butt kicker at ping-pong—nope. 

22) Acing all trivia quizzes—only likely if it’s geography, chemistry, geology, or astronomy. 

23) Fluent in Javascript—no. 

24) Fluent in Klingon—what’s that? 

25) Rolling on Segway—don’t have one. 

26) Browsin’, inspectin’—oh, a lot. 

27) X-Men comics—so I’ve collected zero. I don’t even know any of the X-Men except “Beast,” and only because I.G. (who may or may not be more nerdy than me, but is definitely more white) said out of the X-Men I was most like “Beast.” Not sure if that’s a good thing. 

28) Protecting pens in pockets—I rarely put pens in pockets. They tend to accidentally stab and hurt. 

29) Ergonomic keyboard—definitely no. 

30) Writable media—what? 

31) Editing Wikipedia—no, although I am an administrator and editor of Missionpedia. Also, I do spend a lot of time on Wikipedia, even if I don’t edit it. 

32) Holy Grail memorized—no, I don’t know what it is. I don’t want to know what it is. 

33) Business doin’ websites—not close. 

34) HTML—nope. 

35) Home page for dog—haven’t made a home page; haven’t got a dog. 

36) Fanny pack—what’s a fanny pack? 

37) Sale at The Gap—I’ve never bought anything from there before. 

38) Spend nights with bubble wrap—nope. 

39) AV/Glee/Chess—No idea what the first two are. Third I hate more than braces. 

40) Kirk/picard—who are these people? 

41) Renaissance Faire—what is this? 

42) Name on underwear—nope. 

7.5/42 is 17.9%. Yup, I don’t get it.

So somehow this is the 42nd post on my blog. Refraction angle in degrees to make a rainbow.


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